How to Change our Relationship with Stress

In today's episode of Lean Into You, we talk with Dr. Chris Collins, the owner of Novel Chiropractic, on Chattanooga's North Shore. Chris will talk to us a little about how we can begin to change our relationship with stress. We will cover:
   
     1) The relationship between emotional and physical health
     2) The importance of setting manageable goals, self-evaluating, and investing in things that fill us up
     3) How changing our relationship with stress can help dust off our passion for the classroom


If you would like to find out more about Chris' work, visit his website at www.novelchiropractic.com. You can also check out his "stress-less" podcast, Mindgarden.

This podcast is funded through a grant with the Tennessee Department of Human Services and Signal Centers, Inc.

Transcript

Unknown: 0:04

Hello, and welcome to lean into you a podcast to remind educators the best investment they can make today is in themselves. I'm your host, Alex Farrell with childcare wages, Tennessee. And today, we're talking about how we can begin to change our relationship with stress. We all have different stressors in our lives. And we all deal with that stress in a variety of different ways. But what if there's a way to change our relationship with stress, to look at stress not as something we're enslaved to? But as something we can actively change our perception of? How would that change our work? How would that renew our passions? How would that revitalize our lives? Our guest today is Dr. Chris Collins, Chris received his doctor of chiropractic degree from Sherman College of Chiropractic, and a bachelor's in Exercise Science at the University of Southern Mississippi. He and his wife, Erin are the owners of novel chiropractic on chatter news North Shore. Today, we're going to talk a little bit about how emotional and physical health are related in order to help us identify stress in our bodies. You know, I think we all have a picture of what we want our health to look like. And we want to be confident in our bodies to function the way they're designed to. But the problem is, is that sometimes our bodies can't keep up with the amount of stress that grinder and we'll also discuss how setting manageable goals for ourselves, self evaluation, investing in things that fill us up, in showing ourselves a little bit of grace can all help us on the way towards changing our relationship with stress. And once that happens, we'll find it much easier to dust off our passions for the classroom. Hello, Dr. Collins, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for taking some time to talk to us today. Thank you, I'm very happy to be here. So today we're talking a little bit about stress and how we can start to you know, change our relationship with stress. So perhaps the best way into this conversation is for you to talk about your approach a little bit to your chiropractic work. I am a client of yours. And the first time I came into your office for a consultation, I was surprised that you were asking me about my emotional health, it was clear to me that you really wanted to see a well rounded picture of my health. Yeah, and I think with your permission to I would share that each person when they're coming in is a bit different. Like some people would just be alarmed if they heard that I was going to jump right into emotions. And I wouldn't necessarily do that with everyone. But because you and I had a prior relationship. And it was something that you had shared with me before it was on the table to talk about, we were friends. At that point, we a lot of times we'll meet people after they've tried everything, and they still haven't gotten the results. And they still need help. And so that specifically happens a lot with our chronic condition patients. It could be chronic pain, it could be something like migraines, vertigo, multiple sclerosis, it could be fibromyalgia, things that can be really complex to be treated medically, specifically that don't always resolve well, those sorts of things we tend to be really good at. So we do a lot of questions. Yeah, in the beginning. And it's just to understand people and to make sure that they feel comfortable moving forward with us and that it feels like a good fit. You know, I think it's important for our listeners to understand really the, the relationship between our emotional health and our physical health. You know, some people might might be saying, Okay, what does a chiropractor know about the stresses of educators, for instance. But I think if we were to start to change our relationship with stress, then it is important that we know how we hold stress in our bodies and how to identify when we are stressed. Yeah, you know, I think we all have a picture of what we want our health to look like. And we want to be confident in our bodies to function the way they're designed to. But the problem is, is that sometimes our bodies can't keep up with the amount of stress that we're under. And this could be mental stress. It could be physical stress, it could be chemical stress, they're all different forms of stress. Right? And so it's a matter of can we reduce some of these stressors can we reframe some of the perception we have around the stress? And then can we slowly begin to change some habits? You know, different people come in with relationships with their body, you know, we all have a relationship with our body just like we might have a relationship with a spouse and sometimes their bodies with They're like, we haven't been treated well by them, and we can't trust our bodies. And it gets really confusing, right? So that's where we have to sort of start understanding and becoming aware of those things, then we can navigate through that conversation and begin reframing that I think people's perception of stress is that it's this external force that kind of, you know, presses in on them a little bit that they don't have any control over. What we're addressing today is, you know, what we do have some control over how we face the stressors in our lives that we've identified. And I think once we do that, you know, a lot of freedom follows. So what are some strategies that you use with your clients to help them start this conversation that maybe our educators could also start to implement in their lives? So I'll answer that in two ways. One, I will answer just from a standpoint of where I would start someone, if they're ready to take the first step into changing some things, when they are just about to change something like, let's say, in their lifestyle, to be able to change their relationship with stress, then I start them with something that's super, super easy. And so it could be as simple as Let's become aware of your posture. And I don't want you to try to fix your posture, I want you to cue yourself. So I want you to sit up nice and tall, lengthening your spine, and kind of lift your head as if somebody was if you had alfalfa hair, and someone was pulling that top hair right up to the ceiling, and lifting your weight of your body off of your spine a bit and just kind of placing it, imagining it on your back. And then work on breathing. For a moment into your belly, you could put one hand on your chest, one hand on your stomach, take a nice, big, deep breath into your belly. And you want to keep your chest down. If your chest is rising, it's likely that you're stressed breathing, and then that just one breath to like, focus in and become aware. I just want you to do that once. And then whenever you think about it, and then I'll check back in on the next week. And it's so the person's like, well, that's not very hard. But you'd be amazed because you get so caught up with stuff. And taking one moment to just focus on like, how am I breathing? Right? So if you start people with stuff that's really small that they can do, it actually will trigger them to be like, Oh, I checked can check that off the list. I accomplished a goal and it will trigger reward response as well. Yeah, that's really interesting, because I think a lot of people think that, you know, if they want to start mitigating stress in their lives, you know, maybe they've heard something like yoga is good for them. So they decide to, you know, jump right into an hour long yoga routine. But what you're talking about is starting super small, setting some manageable goals, and you know, helping to build that momentum a bit. And here's what people do, they do think that way sometimes, and And likely, you'll have some success, some short term success, like you can jump into a new diet, and probably have about 20 to 30 days of pretty good success, and then you're gonna get burnt out. And you'll drop it. And you'll go back to some old things. But you know, what's important is that after you decide to drop it, go ahead and reflect on what were the most vital things that you want to take from that diet to move forward. We don't have to be, you know, not all of those things are going to make sense for us. We're trying to take what's really valuable to us, and then pull from that, and then use that. And then the other stuff, it's like taking the meat, spit out the bones, right? He's like, not all of its going to be good for you. So just take what what you really found valuable. And again, like I said, you know, this is kind of what comes back to our approach and in practice is that it's got to be personalized, not everyone's gonna have the same success and strategies that we may use. For example, I helped one of my clients this year, who's super super busy, was not really into going to the gym, she just never has been not into running, not into exercise. And I said, Well, why don't you just anchor on something else when you go to the gym? She said, well, like what I was like, Well, you know, you work really hard. I said, You need to have some kind of self care practice. So I said, you know, join the YMCA and go to the sauna. And just, you know, go in, do a little bit of a workout, but maybe just start with going to the sauna first. And just, you know, anchor into something that's gonna feel good to you. And so then she started going to the gym and then she was like, you know, I was there and then I was like, well, while I'm here I might as well just workout too. And it wasn't a super long workout, but she did something and something is better than nothing, you know? So she was really successful in that the second point I wanted to make a note and we can move on is that it's important because of that difference in personality and the way that you might perceive stress to do some self evaluation to ask yourself some questions, what have I been successful with before? What have I classically failed at, in my own opinion, right, and maybe even do some personality testing, we usually encourage people to do the Enneagram test, in our practice, because I'm really familiar with that test. I'm familiar with Myers Briggs, too. But the Enneagram test especially helps me really understand what motivates someone or really turned them off. So I need to understand some of those things in order to help them and it really helps them to navigate their own personal journey. Yeah, that self evaluation is key to, you know, finding some practices that work for your lifestyle and your personality. So this podcast is first and foremost for educators. So let's bring some specificity to it as much as we can. You have a population that has felt historically underpaid for their work, and undervalued by society. So right there, you have, you know, two different sources of stress. And that's before we even talk about the day to day stresses that come with the dirty part of the job, you know, like changing diapers and wrangling children. And it's not uncommon for educators to feel like, you know, their passion of working with children is just not enough to balance out that daily grind, let alone things like low pay. If that is the case, for some of our listeners, what tips do you have for them, to sort of, you know, help them become more revitalized in that work? First, before I I wanted to say just that, I have such a high appreciation for these early childhood educators. Because I was so impacted in my early school years, I remember what it was like to be a kid. And I have a really, really accurate and good long term memory. So I still remember like sitting in class, and I still remember, you know, the colors of the like left hand and right hand that were on my desk in first grade. And some of the things that my kindergarten teacher would do, or my second grade teacher, giving us reading assignments are telling me that I had ease that look like C's, you know, things like that, that just like, were these little moments along the way that we're then you know, coaching and helping us and they've got to do that for every little kid. You know, it's kind of crazy that it's in my brain. And in there's a lot of other people too, that I think when you say society undervalues them I, you know, it breaks my heart in I wouldn't doubt that because I don't know that it's a direct thing. It's, it's likely a neglect thing. Right? It's, it's not a direct intention. But something where it's out of sight, out of mind, people get so busy, that they forget. And that's often the case. And that's really sad. You know, all that being said, these teachers, even, you know, the, the folks in admin, the, the janitors, you name it, all the staff, right? It's, everybody's, there was some including a purpose, I would think, to give back. And so I would say, you know, your success is really, it's not always financially driven, it's really focused on your success may be measured on you fulfilling your purpose. And that's okay. Right. And I think what happens a lot of times, and I've struggled with this, in my own practice before, is when you feel like you start working to the point where you start wanting to escape, you're like, I need a break, right? And you start feeling guilty, because you have a high sense of purpose. And so it's like, dang, like, I want to serve, but I'm literally out, like, out of it, like out of energy, right? And I even had a conversation with a colleague and friend who, who was like, you know, I feel so guilty for wanting out of what I'm doing. And I told her, it's likely that you care, it's because you care a lot. And you think that you're no longer able to keep up with the responsibility that it takes to hold this position of purpose. Right. So behind the scenes, and underneath the surface, it's because you care a lot that you're wanting escape, right? So I would encourage people rather than escaping lean in to something else that maybe isn't on your radar. And it would be yourself right which is like perfect for this podcast, right? You and I had this conversation but yeah, leaning into who I am my purpose maybe and then also giving myself time to be filled up. And that could be in a number of ways for someone but what's your outlet? It might be taking some time to I read in the morning waking up a little bit early, you know, and I love sleeping in. But I'm a different person when I wake up and I read and I write. So I have to make time to do that. So that I feel fulfilled and actually feel more energy when I do that than when I sleep in. So I have to kind of weigh those things out and say, What am I going to choose to do today? And what am I going to show up as if I decide to show up a little bit lazier than normal, I have to give myself a break, like, right cannot be perfect. You know, that's the thing, when you're in a service based position, I think guilt so often comes into play, to where you're, you're not able to give yourself a break. I think that is a huge part of changing your relationship with stress is, yes, as an educator, you do have a responsibility and a big one. But you're also a human being that has a limit. And I think understanding what your own capacity is, is so important, because that starts to take off some of that pressure, you know, to be on all the time or to be you know, everything that a child may need all the time, you don't have to shoulder that responsibility all by yourself in the fact that you bring up limits, as I'm learning this right now. And I'm actually doing kind of a study on improving your own capacity, because we do we get just pushed up against a wall on our own personal capacity. And we have to figure out, am I going to shrink right now? Am I going to collapse? Or am I going to grow. And it's super, it's a super weird place. And all things in nature do this, right, you have to adapt. So I think it's just important, when you do talk about limits, to be aware that if you want to use a metaphor, you know, use like a gas tank, let's say the limit of a gas tank is one thing, like maybe you have the ability to have 16 gallons in your tank. But if you have, you know, three gallons in your tank, right, then then you have a new limit, because it's only as far as you can drive the potential of your tank, if it's all the way full, is a lot more. But you have to fill it up first. And that's kind of where we were getting at here with like, you know, putting back into some things that feed you. Yeah, I think this is going to be a reoccurring theme in this podcast is that self care. And mindfulness is readily available for all of us at any time. But it does require some reprioritizing of our lives a little bit. It requires a little bit of intentionality. You know, if you got into this job a year ago, five years ago, 30 years ago, and all of a sudden, you recognize that your shoulders are slumping a little bit when you walk into the classroom, that doesn't necessarily mean that being a childcare is no longer your passion. It may just mean that that passion needs a little dusting off, you know? Yeah, yeah. I mean, great, great metaphor of, you know, dusting something off, I'm imagining, you know, these early childhood educators, climbing up to the top shelf, you know, pulling out the ladder, you know, opening it up, right, getting on top of it, getting the trophy up at the top shelf, all of this like, or maybe that little special box where they kept all their, you know, inner heart, inklings of why they got into this, and sort of dusting that box off and opening it back up. You know, that's a great, that's a great way to think about it. How are we, in pulling out the ladder, you know, is, is the uncomfortable action taking part. But looking up to the top shelf is what we're, what I'm kind of getting it, that's the first easy step is just being aware, you know, looking out there and being like, I have that, right. And I can open it at any time. Right? But I have to get into some uncomfortable places. I gotta get up the ladder. I gotta go out there. It's dusty. There's, you know, some some small things before that. I get really, I'm glad you brought this because I just get really into people with purpose, right? And I've got some clients who are early childhood educators, I've got some that are in admin. And they work so hard. It's insane how much and especially in this time right now, with the pandemic going on. It's insane. Because you have a totally different ballgame. Yeah, it's kind of funny. I was I was it's a little bit tongue in cheek, but I was speaking to an educator on Facebook the other day, and, you know, I told her early childhood educators have always been essential. It's just unfortunate that a global pandemic had to happen in order for the rest of the world to see them as such, you know? So this has been a super fruitful conversation. We usually like to sign off with our guests just giving a little word of encouragement our our educators out there that are listening to us. So you didn't just sign off with, with a word of encouragement? I will, I will, yeah, I'll give your listeners a takeaway that I give my clients each week that I see them. I always want people to know that you are enough and that you're valuable. And, you know, that's based on you just being a living thing in this living world. So people forget many times their value, and I forget it sometimes too. And it's really important to remember just you existing is enough. It's super simple. I think we all forget our own value from time to time. So it's just really nice to have that reminder. Dr. Chris Collins, thank you for joining us on the podcast today and we hope you have a great week. It was my pleasure. Thank you. Thank you all for tuning into the podcast today. This podcast is funded through a grant with the Tennessee Department of Human Services and signal centers. Signal centers is a nonprofit in Chattanooga, Tennessee, whose mission is to strengthen children, adults and families through services focusing on disabilities, early childhood education and self sufficiency. If you have a review, a comment, a suggestion for a future episode. Please do so on our Facebook page at facebook.com/t N wages or email us at wages at signal centers.org. Again, thank you for listening to the lean into your podcast and we hope you have a great week.